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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26413189">our rainbow-coloured days (let’s turn these tears into hope)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lgbtxt/pseuds/lgbtxt'>lgbtxt</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>what if we go out on a journey to find ourselves? [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Choi Yeonjun-Centric, Families of Choice, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Gender Dysphoria, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Identity Issues, Kissing, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Mutual Pining, Nonbinary Character, Questioning, Self-Discovery, Soft Choi Yeonjun, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, but only mentions of it</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 12:34:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,398</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26413189</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lgbtxt/pseuds/lgbtxt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Family to Yeonjun has four different names that he has carved onto his heart, names who were given or chosen but still names he will carry with him until there is nothing left of him, nothing left of them.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>what if we go out on a journey to find ourselves? [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1919833</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>77</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>our rainbow-coloured days (let’s turn these tears into hope)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i will not specify how the members identify themselves in here, the gist of it is their transness but i hope you guys can project into them and decide for yourselves! :)</p>
<p>title comes from the lyrics of everlasting shine!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Yeonjun has learned throughout the years he has been alive that the word “family” comes in different shapes.</p>
<p>Traditionally family means blood. But sometimes, in his case, family translates to a ragtag group of four who make fun of him for his sock choices, who buy him food and make sure he’s still alive on finals week even though it should be his job as the oldest and who hold his hand when the past catches up to him, when the things he swore to bury inside and never let them see the light of day peek through the cells of his mind.</p>
<p>Family to Yeonjun has four different names that he has carved onto his heart, names who were given or chosen but still names he will carry with him until there is nothing left of him, nothing left of them.</p>
<p>He watches the way Beomgyu strums the strings of their guitar, soft voice humming to an unknown melody only they know but that all of them can recognize in their sleep. On the far side of the room he sees Kai and Taehyun mindlessly bickering over the remote control, and otherwise would be worried if not for the way they’re grinning at each other, giggles stumbling past their lips.</p>
<p>He feels fingertips brush against his own hand, a little rough but searing in the way they leave their trail behind, in the way his chest feels like a dying star when he meets Soobin’s eyes.</p>
<p>He thinks this is what family should feel like, like no matter where he goes in the world, he will always choose to come back to this.</p>
<p>“What are you thinking about?” Soobin mutters, careful not to disturb the rest of their friends.</p>
<p>Yeonjun shrugs, “How funny life is,” he looks at his family, a smile painting itself on his face, “how the universe led me to you, how I know it will keep leading me to you,”</p>
<p>He catches the way Soobin smiles, like a blooming flower. “You’re getting cheesy,” he teases but Yeonjun can see the way his eyes soften, he sees the same feelings reflected in them.</p>
<p>Yeonjun grins, “I wouldn’t be myself if i was not cheesy,”</p>
<p>He hears Beomgyu snort from their seat, eyes flicking up to the two of them. “I’m glad you are aware of how embarrassing you are,”</p>
<p>Yeonjun squawks indignantly, pretending to be offended as he listens to the youngest kids snorting, seemingly forgetting about their dispute in favor of making fun of the oldest. “You love when I’m embarrassing, in fact I might just start walking you all to class while i hold your hands”</p>
<p>Taehyun gags from his place in Kai’s arms, “I can break your hand if you try,” Yeonjun shudders and doesn’t try to argue against that, Taehyun is right after all.</p>
<p>“You are all so mean to me, what happened to respecting your elders?” Yeonjun whines and regrets it as soon as the words are out.</p>
<p>“Oh, so you admit you are ancient?” Soobin teases with a mischievous glint in his eyes, if Yeonjun feels a little breathless then that’s for him to know.</p>
<p>“You are literally a year younger than me,” Yeonjun huffs, standing up and stretching his arms up to the ceiling.</p>
<p>“He’s right, you guys will sit together in your porch when you’re both old and decrepit as you see us young folks frolicking around in our eternal youth” Kai dramatically raises their hand in front of themself, eyes sparkling as they try to control their unavoidable laughter.</p>
<p>Beomgyu snorts, standing up as well and letting their -very pretty, also a gift from Yeonjun for their birthday- white summer dress fall into place, Yeonjun feels proud everytime he sees the comfort in which they carry themself, how long it took them to feel like their skin belonged to them but now they are so unapologetically themself it almost feels like looking directly into the sun and Yeonjun would gladly let himself be burned. He remembers the late night talks they used to share, back when they both felt out of place but found a home in their shared pages. Now those nights are filled with less sorrow and a lot of comfort.</p>
<p>“If you’re going to recite poetry about old people, you might as well finish your English essay” Taehyun pipes up from where his head is resting on Kai’s lap, making the youngest groan and curl into themself.</p>
<p>“You are so unfair, let me procrastinate” Yeonjun can feel the pout from a mile away as he makes his way towards the kitchen, rolling his shoulders and neck to alleviate the ache.</p>
<p>Soobin hums, eyes following the motion, “Does it hurt?”</p>
<p>Yeonjun shrugs and smiles as he watches Beomgyu flop on top of the kids, eliciting squeals and protests. “Not much, I can take a few more hours”</p>
<p>He deliberately refuses to look at Soobin, knowing fully well the younger is currently doing his I-Am-Worried-About-You face. “Don’t look at me like that, I’m really okay I’ve only worn it for two hours,” He huffs, sticking his face into the fridge in search of something sweet to eat, their ice-cream supply having been finished earlier that week but all of them are too lazy to drag their bodies out the door. He settles for a soda can with a pout.</p>
<p>“I just worry it’s too much for you, wearing your binder for too long can be dangerous” Yeonjun sighs, setting the can on the counter and approaching the younger boy.</p>
<p>“I know,” smiles gently, letting his hands settle on Soobin’s hips and decidedly ignoring the way they both flush at the tender touch, hearts stuttering inside their ribcages, “and I’m really grateful, I will let you know if it starts to get uncomfortable and I need help, I promise”</p>
<p>This seems to appease Soobin’s worries, who visible relaxes as he settles his hands timidly on Yeonjun’s shoulders, cheeks flaring with color and Yeonjun swears he can feel the way the skin burns through his shirt.</p>
<p>“Okay,” it’s nothing but a whisper and it shouldn’t feel as charged as it is, but they are so close -how did that happen, Yeonjun doesn’t know maybe is their bodies pulling each other in, maybe it’s how the both of them have been dancing around each other for so long the lines are starting to blur- and Yeonjun is feeling a little brave and a little reckless.</p>
<p>“Hey, Soobin?” There is a pause and he can feel as if the entire universe is holding its breath.</p>
<p>He sees the way Soobin’s breath gets caught in his throat, he doesn’t ignore it this time.</p>
<p>“Be my boyfriend,” He whispers, fingers tightening a little where they are holding onto Soobin. It’s then that he falls in love a little deeper, watching the way Soobin’s smile grows like the sunrise, eyes crinkling in a way Yeonjun cannot put into words.</p>
<p>There’s a brush of fingers for a second time, this time it’s his cheek setting ablaze, then it spreads throughout his entire being at the way Soobin is gazing at him, as if there is nowhere else he’d rather be.</p>
<p>“Silly question,” Soobin whispers, foreheads bumping against each other, “I have always been yours,” He presses his grin against Yeonjun’s amidst the cheers in the background, he thinks he was made for this, for loving Soobin and loving their little found family, he thinks they are nothing but mismatched puzzle pieces who somehow found their way into fitting with each other so seamlessly, so perfectly.</p>
<p>Yeonjun isn’t sure of who he is yet and he might never really figure it out in this lifetime, there are a lot of uncertainties and doubts when it comes to himself and where his place in the world is, he might get lost along the way and his mind might wander off sometimes, he might look at himself in the mirror and will find a stranger looking back, there are plenty of things Yeonjun has yet to learn about himself but one thing is certain to him.</p>
<p>He is proud of what they have achieved, of who they have become.</p>
<p>This is the home he will always come back to, the home they have all built through their shared sorrows and pain, as well as their laughter and joy.</p>
<p>This is the place where he belongs.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i've been wanting to write this fic for the longest time and i hold it so very close to my heart, as a trans guy this fic means a lot to me (me projecting my trans feelings onto yeonjun? more likely than you think), i wrote this for the lgbt+ moas because i know this is something we all need, i can't speak for everyone but for me txt feels like a safe place being lgbt+ and i hope you guys can feel the same not only with them but with other moas as well!</p>
<p>i'm hoping i can make this into a series of sorts but don't expect much from me rip.</p>
<p>i hope this fic touched your heart as much as it touched mine!</p>
<p>
  <a href="https://twitter.com/jjunigay">twt</a>
</p></blockquote></div></div>
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